Bettering

i have to get better at keeping journals. not only is it a great way to relieve stress and anxiety, but my memory is so terrible that i would hate to lose the memories we are making now. a lot has happened since i last posted ONE YEAR AGO ( ugh!) but ill try and sum things up and touch back on a few important parts later.

- im having another surgery tomorrow

- work has been great and i love what i do

- for the first time since i moved to chicago, i have contemplated trying to move back home

- p and i are moving in together this summer

- oh we also went to EUROPE together

- winter is really taking its toll on me

- i need a puppy

- whole30 is my friend

- but so is Mollys Cupcakes

i have about a week to recover from my surgery where ill have more time to update this. i didnt realize i had so much to document! 

home is where the pup is

in the most important news of my life right now. 

I BOOKED A FLIGHT HOME. 

i wish it was july right now. 

i have been homesick for so long and i cant wait to see my fam, pet my pup, and live on the beach for a whole week. and eat in n out. 

the most annoying thing about moving to chicago is the dirty look people give me when they find out im from california. "why did you move here?!" they ask me. 

my most standard answer if i dont feel like talking to your dirty-look face is "i went to school in indiana". that usually satisfies them.

but the real answer is i was tired of living in the same town i was born in. tired of doing the same things. tired of seeing the same people. i wanted adventure. and adventure is what i got. i left school in san diego to continue my education in south bend, indiana, where im sure if you ask 10 people from southern california, MAYBE 1 of them can point it out on a map. i loved my time at smc and its a decision i will always be proud of and cherish. 

i decided to stay in the midwest because i love it here. the people are nicer, they dont care about what kind of car you drive or where you buy your clothes. and it didnt hurt that the boyfriend was going to be in chicago. 

i love chicago. i love the city life. i love being able to walk to the movies, restaurants, shops, bars. i love the spirit chicagoans have, especially about sports. the city is always always always hosting an event, especially in the summer time. so many festivals and farmers markets and free things to do. its a fun city to live in your twenties. 

but i have been incredibly homesick. i havent been home since christmas and my heart is just heavy. i cant explain it any better than that. i miss the sun. i miss the beach. i miss my pupper. i miss my mom and dad. i miss my friends. i miss the ease of just going to the beach on your day off. just laying there reading a book and listening to the ocean waves crashing onto the shore. watching the dolphins swim by. smelling bbq. getting tan. going home to your tiny family to go out to sushi together. watching a show on the couch together before going to bed.

those are the days i am seriously missing right now. the relaxing southern californian days. all while wearing a sundress and rainbows and sunglasses. 

 this is my walk to my favorite beach, victoria

 the best pup in the world

 orange county from a boat

 god i miss the sunsets

 just some beautiful water

the endless sky

you can take the girl out of the california, but you cant take the california out of the girl. 

life lately

work work workity work. 

i started working nights and have started to have a deep appreciation of sleeping during the night. 

i also went paleo for lent and have started to have a deep appreciation of homemade tacos BECAUSE THATS THE ONLY THING IN THE WORLD I WANT RIGHT NOW. 

p went gluten free. 

p is in the beautious san francisco this week, living it up in the 60 degree weather while its like 12 degrees outside over here. its the first time since i started nights that i havent seen him when i got home in the morning and i am sad. now i just watch trash tv by myself before i go nap. boo.

im not going to talk about the weather because thats what everyone is talking about and its driving me nuts so lets tallkkk abbbouuutttt pizza? i love pizza. i cant even explain how badly i want homeslice right now. the fluffy dough, the incredible sauce, the melty cheese!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lent is hard. but im on paleo so i should have like a total six pack in a week right?! thats what the whole roll of salami i just ate told me. 

nothing much is going on right now. weve been sick and boring and completely unadventurous. but we did make a fort to watch a movie on valentines day! we started watching moulin rouge. but then decided dessert was a way more pressing issue. which it always is. 

you dont have to compliment me on my photog skillz, i know theyre tops. 

time out

pack your bags, we just booked for germany!....

 im going to be one of those little dots!

and Venice!

is it too early to start packing my bags?? im beyond stoked. we are going to oktoberfest in munich for 5 days and then taking the train to venice for 4 days. better yet, my two best friends are meeting us in munich! life could not get any better.

things i plan on doing:

oktoberfest

visiting the castle that the sleeping beauty castle was modeled after

spending a day in the englischer garten

eating a lot of brats

eating a lot of pasta/pizza

getting lost in venice

just relaxing and taking it all in

it will be patricks and mine's first time traveling abroad together. punta cana doesnt count really because we didnt exactly travel together and didnt plan a thing (which was nice!). i always say you really dont know a person until youve been with them through the stress of traveling & i dont see us having a major problem with it! 

i cannot wait for september! 

christmas time in the city

of course im behind on this blog but i have to write about christmas! i was lucky enough to get christmas off so i could go home to see my family! but spending time in chicago during the christmas season was so great. city christmas > any other christmas.

patrick and i headed downtown one day to go see the marshall fields display windows (its technically the macy's windows since they bought out marshall fields many moons ago, but p refuses to succumb to that fact, so marshall fields it is). every year they do a whole christmas story through each of their windows. i think theres 7? anyway it was really cute and good for little kids. on our way there though, we just happened upon the santa con-ers of chicago, where people dress up like santa, get drunk, and walk the streets of chicago together in a flock of booze smelling red. it was hilarious!

p and i also went to chriskindlemart which is a german market that sells a bunch of cool german products and food and most importantly mulled wine which i didnt get to try because the line was too long. so sad. it was cute seeing the wooden trinkets and toys and ornaments and any other wood product you can think of. they also had a huge christmas tree. so of course we took a selfie.

since i was in chicago for most of the christmas season (i didnt fly back home until christmas eve) i was able to partake in an amazing raycroft family tradition of "the christmas party". they throw a huge party for family and friends about a week before christmas. last year was my first year going. it was a blast. tons of food, drinks, music, dancing, and christmas caroling! this year since all of p's friends are finally 21 they were able to attend which was awesome. my favorite part of the night though, is when the room becomes divided between the men and women, and we sing "paradise by the dashboard light" by meatloaf. never heard of it before?! yeah me neither and last year i was severely confused but this year... this year i came prepared. caroline and i practiced the song and she had the lyrics up on her phone during the song. but the best way to know the lines was to watch mrs. raycroft because she knows every single word. unfortunately, i couldnt have too much fun this year because i had a 12 hour shift the next morning. boo.

other things i did during the chicago christmas season:

ice skate at millennium park with super cool smicks

decorate my house with lights and snowflakes

throw a christmas party at p's

none of which i got pictures of. yay! 

thanksgiving

this year for thanksgiving, p came out to california with me and we played in the sun for a whole week. 

things we did:

beach

ducks v blackhawks game

thanksgiving feast

nd v usc game

sup around the lake

taco tuesday

kickball

i always take patrick to a different eatery whenever we go home so he can appreciate good food (especially mexican and sushi!) this trip i took him to la sirena grill in laguna beach because they have the best food on the planet. 

i also took super cool videos and pictures with my dads go pro, but being a child in this fast-growing, technologically-advanced society, i have no idea how to transfer them from the usb drive to my computer. daaaaaaaaaad!!!! 

 first stop was DOBVIOUSLY in-n-out

 about to nom on the best carne asada torta he will ever nom

 view from the top of the montage

 i love california in november

 this midwesterner deep fried us a damn good turkey

 ducks v blackhawks tradition shall live on, forever.

 tried to bring the tailgate goonery to usc

i love my fam bam

my studly friends and i after thanksgiving kickball

what a great trip this was and even though we had to cut it short due to work circumstances, we had the best time. thanks mom and dad! and thanks california sunshine! im really missing my vitamin d out here...

an official illinoisian

i am officially a resident of chicago, illinois! what an emotional feeling. i never thought i would feel sad relinquishing my californian id, but it hit me like a wave when i was handed my new one. my californian id was one of the last things i had to prove my roots and now i only have my vans collection and the use of saying "dude, totally" a lot. and soon my license plate will change, and im getting my own health insurance and car insurance and and and. i dont know. its a weird feeling being an official big kid and being on your own and having a full time job (!) and a life that is brand new and having new favorite restaurants and different tv channels and different weather and not having my family close by and and and and and im far from home, on my own, and right now i want nothing more than to be sitting on the floor of my kitchen, talking with my mom, and petting my pup. and eating in n out. 

BUT i am grateful to be here, with my new friends who are turning into family, with p, in my tiny apartment, with a tiny kitchen, and drafty windows, and having new favorite restaurants, and seasons that i can get excited about, and having the job of my dreams, and being in a city with heart and pride. i guess im in a weird transition right now between wanting my own adventure and not being able to let go of my old one. i just know i cant wait to be home again. and i cant wait to make chicago my new one.